


Moon to Moon

by salixbabylon



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-01
Updated: 2007-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-17 13:16:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 17,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salixbabylon/pseuds/salixbabylon
Summary: Thirty days in the life of a randy werewolf.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Note:** Set in some nebulous AU where Sirius is alive, Harry and the rest of the kids are 16, and everyone is staying at Grimmauld Place in the summer of August 1996.
> 
> **Author's Longer Note:** This fic is NOT part of the [](http://pervy-werewolf.livejournal.com/profile)[**pervy_werewolf**](http://pervy-werewolf.livejournal.com/) 's Lusty Month of May contest, but it is similar in style. I will be posting 30 short fics, one almost every day. Credits to [](http://pervy-werewolf.livejournal.com/profile)[**pervy_werewolf**](http://pervy-werewolf.livejournal.com/) for firmly planting the idea in my brain and massive kudos to all of you who are playing by the Lusty Month of May rules - you guys rock! Also, massive props to [](http://sirkayem.livejournal.com/profile)[**sirkayem**](http://sirkayem.livejournal.com/) for betaing! Definitely part of the "May is Masturbation Month" themed activities.

August 14th, 1996: Day 1

Thus begins my daily journal entry, to record the changes/effects of Severus' new variant on Wolfsbane. I am to do this from today's New Moon until the next. The idea is to track any effects the potion may have. I don't understand all the details, despite being interested, as Severus of course declined to answer my questions. I have gathered that the potion is a smaller concentration of the active ingredients and I am to take the doses every day. While this seems more inconvenient to both brewer and lycanthrope in my opinion, I'm sure Severus has something in that guarded mind of his to make it worth his while.

The dose of potion was as foul tasting as ever (worse, perhaps) but since it was a spoonful rather than a goblet-full, I'm not complaining. Unlike when I take the usual Wolfsbane, my senses are not in the hyper aware pre-moon state, so the odor was not offensive and once my mouth was cleared of the flavor, everything was back to normal.

I feel fine, if a bit tired from the ever-present crowd here in Grimmauld Place this summer. After so many years of wishing for company, now all I want is for the children (almost grown up now – Harry has just turned sixteen!) to go back to school and for the Order members to bugger off and give Sirius and I some space.

I suppose I'm a touch cranky. Don't think it's the potion, though. We'll have to wait and see.


	2. Chapter 2

August 15th, 1996: Day 2

Someone left a dildo on my bed this morning.

My first thought, which now strikes me as rather odd, is that it's an unusual gift considering the number of cocks in this house already. There are two black ones (although only one of those is Black), two pale white, one a bit sallow, an abundance of red freckled ones, and two rosy-pink barely-not-underage cocks (plus one each of the white and red freckled).

This one is pinkish orange.

I suppose it's meant to be the color of flesh, but no human I've ever seen has been this color, on any of their bits. I suppose the mere fact that it isn't attached to a person does offer it some significant advantages. This cock does not care of I use it, or if I chuck it into a bin and get rid of it, or if I lock it in a trunk and forget about it. Or whether I show it a good time one night and then ignore it forevermore.

I wonder if this is part of Severus' little test, if he gave it to me as an aide to discovering how the potion affects me sexually. Which is odd on several levels. One, Severus thinking of me having sex. Two, him being perceptive enough to suspect me of being queer. Three, (and most disturbing of all) him wondering if I enjoy anal penetration.

Perhaps Severus is queer after all. And here I thought he had something going with that grouchy Quidditch coach/flying instructor all this time...

On the other hand perhaps it was simply a gag gift from one of the children, young adults though they may be, and not a test at all. Or perhaps from Sirius, who never seems to have grown up in so many ways...

At any rate, I doubt I'll be using it tonight.

To keep any nosy parkers out of this journal, I will have to refresh my memory of that curse I used to put on my homework while I was a student, to keep lazy gits like James from copying – the one that makes them break out in dragonpox-like hives, only the flames don't go out for three weeks or until I remove the hex. With the Weasley twins about, I'm going to need it if I expect to keep any secrets, even with all the locking spells I know...


	3. Chapter 3

August 16th, 1996: Day 3

Padfoot was sniffing around my room when I returned home late this afternoon. Literally; he transformed back into Sirius when I caught him in the act, but refused to answer what he was looking for. And why he'd be trying to smell it out, in particular.

Perhaps the dildo was from him? That would be odd. Our relationship has been a little awkward ever since that night last year when he was visiting me. I knew it was a mistake at the time but it felt so good, so comforting, to be back in bed with him again like when we were teenagers. To be close to someone so familiar, who knows me better than anyone else, who I don't have to hide anything from. I suppose I wondered if maybe we could fan that old spark into a new flame.

We didn't, of course, but there's still a bit of heat left, I think. Certainly on my part, at any rate. Sirius looks so much better now that he's cleaned up and put some weight back on, although he drinks too much for my approval and his moping around this old mausoleum is fucking irritating. I understand the reasons for both, but Merlin he can be an arse when he's in a foul mood.

Still, I love him and I always will. He's my best friend. We put up with each other. And it doesn't hurt that he's a good lay. I've never known anyone who knows my erogenous zones as well as he does... And who doesn't mind that it totally turns me on to lick him under the arms... Nothing has ever fazed Sirius, no kink or perversion that I've ever wanted to try, not even that one time I made him dress up in Jamie's Quidditch uniform...

We haven't touched at all in this house, nothing that isn't strictly platonic and suitable for the eyes of the children. I suddenly can't think of why that would be, since the doors do lock. Perhaps Sirius just has too many ghosts to feel sexual here...

Or it may indeed be the constant and total lack of privacy – Charlie just barged in without even knocking, to ask if he could borrow a towel. Sigh.

Speaking of which, I can't quite be sure, but it seems as if both my libido and sense of smell are slightly increased. I'll have to make some notes of that in the upcoming few days. I can say for certain that the potion seems to smell worse, although Severus assures me that it's the same batch, and in my mouth the flavor hasn't increased.

Severus could, of course, care less what I think of the flavor and odor. I suppose he's right, if this works. He did finally unclench enough to share that the potion's major advantage is its long shelf life without losing efficacy. Aside from the practical advantages on his end, it would also make Wolfsbane cheaper and more accessible to others like me who lack access to Master brewers. Ultimately, I think if our disease were treatable in such a way, the stigma would decrease and we might even be treated a bit more like ordinary wizards...

I'd best stop that line of thought before I either get my hopes up or grow too maudlin.

More tomorrow...


	4. Chapter 4

August 17th, 1996: Day 4

Although I had fallen into a pattern of updating this journal in the evenings, it's only midday and I find myself in need of a confidante, a diary I suppose. Though that makes me sound like an adolescent girl. But there is no one else I could talk to about this and I must express my shock to someone.

Harry tried to pull me.

I had thought he was just being friendly of late and was taking steps to overcome his usual physical reticence – the boy almost never touches anyone. It doesn't seem like natural reserve, but rather a product of his abysmal upbringing with those awful Muggles.

At any rate, I was in the library when Harry entered and requested that I tutor him in some defensive spells. Of course I agreed, but when I suggested he begin with some reading, his enthusiasm took a notable plunge...

Oh nevermind - that isn't the interesting bit of this story.

The interesting bit is that we were working on a shield spell and Harry wasn't getting the wand movement quite right. I stood behind him, and after asking his permission, slowly guided his arm in the correct motion.

At first I thought it must have been adolescent clumsiness when he stumbled backward into me, quite awkwardly. Surely Harry could not have been grinding his bum into what he must have hoped was my groin but was much closer to mid-thigh. His red face was easily dismissed as simple embarrassment.

But then the cheeky little git turned around and with no subtlety whatsoever asked, "Professor – Remus - do you like boys?"

At which I could only blink, open-mouthed, trying to process his words in some way that wasn't so horribly out of context, not to mention rude.

"Only, I think I do," he added, and reached up to my shoulders to pull me down to his level. He planted a very sloppy wet kiss on my mouth (and half my chin, I must say) before I could react.

At which point my brain regained control of my body and I pushed him away, as gently as I could and still get my point across. Unfortunately my words were perhaps not as gentle as they could have been, as I answered with, "No, Harry. I like men, not boys."

Well, at least I was clear.

The pout he's been working on all summer came into play and I rolled my eyes.

I suggested he speak to Sirius if he had questions about such things (hahaha Padfoot! I told him I'd get him back for stealing the last of the marmalade yesterday), but added that I would try if he felt he couldn't speak to his godfather. (And really, who knows what kind of information Sirius would feed that boy; he'd probably start talking about proper restraint spells and safewords before Harry even stammered his questions about lubrication charms and blowjobs).

Unfortunately, Harry seemed to take my offer to talk as an invitation to put his sweaty palms back on my arms and I had to step away again, giving him a stern look. "I suggest you limit any experimentation you might have to the others in this house who are not, in fact, a few months younger that your father," I said.

He blushed and started to get angry, so I assured him I was quite flattered and very touched, but really not interested in a way that I hope was convincing as I certainly Am Not Interested.

At All.

Speaking of which, I realize that if this is going to become a diary rather than a simple account of physical responses to a test potion, I should be a bit more clear about some details. I've mentioned that "we" are staying in the Black House and have enumerated the numbers and colors of various cocks in residence, but not given them names.

"We" is the Order of the Phoenix, or its remains. Sirius and I, of course. Severus, who seems to be dividing his time between here, Hogwarts, and places never named but from which he returns looking more haggard and surly than usual and reeking of stale fear-sweat. Other members of the Order stay here occasionally as well, Kingsley most often – he even seems to have a bedroom at the end of the hall.

Although this is the Black house, all of us are easily outnumbered by the Weasleys. Arthur and Molly are here, of course, and thus so are the youngest of their brood: Ginny, Ron, Fred, and George. However, both Charlie and Bill have also been making regular appearances all summer. Most of that has provided good company for both Sirius and Harry, who are quite moody enough even with such a lively crowd.

Hermione is here as well – you can't have two of the trio together without the third. (Although I do wonder that her parents let her go off to join them so often. I suppose Molly is meant to chaperone...) She's blossoming into a beautiful young woman, in the way that girls do far before their gangly male age-mates catch up. (And we'll not mention the surprisingly well-endowed silhouette of Ginny, whose own brothers can't stop staring at her chest with a look of horror on their faces. No doubt envisioning having to fend off her admirers once school begins. Color me amused.)

Surprisingly, that's not all of the Class of 1999 in residence. Three weeks ago Severus brought us two of his young snakes to shelter: Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zambini. Their sense of superiority and maliciousness has significantly decreased, although the glaring and occasional verbal barbs persist. Mostly between Draco and Harry. Not much has been said about why they are here other than their very clearly unMarked arms (which Harry demanded they show before being allowed to stay – almost sending Severus into a rage). The two boys mostly keep to themselves.

That rounds out the house pretty well. Draco's arrogance continues but he's tolerable. Blaise is unfailingly polite in that better-than-you sort of way that the upper classes have. Yet they haven't caused any trouble and of course we are all quite glad to have them here (even Harry and Ron) rather than some place where we would be forced to draw wands against them on the other side of a battle.

Molly, Ginny, and Hermione are the only ladies in the house, so there is rather a lot of testosterone: frequent pushing, shoving, wrestling, and rude jokes. Not to mention all the underage drinking I pretend not to see (or hear) and the occasional smell of herbs burning which reminds me of Frank Longbottom's "extra credit Herbology projects."

Good times... Such a pity they were so very brief...


	5. Chapter 5

August 18th, 1996: Day 5

My sense of smell has definitely increased. I haven't smelled this many pheromones since teaching at Hogwarts. Everyone in this bloody house reeks like they've either just finished wanking or fucking and it's driving me absolutely spare. I doubt that everyone's standards of personal hygiene have plummeted – therefore my olfactory senses must have increased dramatically.

And not just the teenagers, either. By Circe's Holy Tits, I never wanted to smell Molly Weasley's fanny on Arthur's hands but now I think I have. That's a bit much for even my vaguely bisexual wolfishness.

Even more surprising than that (although fortunately in a different way) is Severus. I didn't intend to sniff him out, but now that I have... I can't stop thinking about him. Again.

Despite how much he and James and Sirius all loathed each other, I never really disliked him. I doubt he realized it but it's true, and in fact I had a terrible crush on him in our fifth year. And why? Because of the way he smelled, like sex and exotic herbs. And those long, pale fingers...

Certainly I was furious with him a few years ago for getting me sacked from teaching and outing me to the entire world, thereby consigning me to a life of unemployment and poverty. Even now sometimes I want to knock him down and pummel him until he apologizes for it.

Yet I have always found Severus intriguing and even a bit attractive. When he cleans himself up, as he has lately, he actually looks rather fit. He's got a strong, sinewy body that makes me want to wrestle him to the floor and see which of us will come out on top, and when his hair is clean and free of potions residue, it's quite nice. He's mostly grown into the nose, as he has his hands and feet. Frankly the sight of those elegant, long fingers has always made me want to feel them on and in my arse...

That, however, is not the image foremost in my mind after smelling what I can only assume must be his own seminal fluid somewhere on his person after he emerged from, of all places, the pantry- _cum_ -potions laboratory beside the kitchen. He must have been wanking while he was brewing something. Perhaps it was a necessary ingredient or maybe he was killing some time while his current potion simmered...

I can almost see it, him hovering near a bubbling cauldron, unbuttoning his robes and freeing his stiff cock. His hands hovering around it, teasing himself with light touches for a moment, then curling a tight fist and starting to stroke. Perhaps he'd charm himself some lube, but I think it's far more likely that he'd use some oil or a special potion he made. I can't see him wanking himself dry – Severus seems like the kind of man who would go all out and do the thing properly if he was going to do it at all.

His hands, strong and confident, settling into a pattern and rhythm long familiar... I wonder if he likes a light grip or a tight squeeze, one hand or two, a little twist at the end or a thumb on his slit, smearing around the moisture there... I bet his cock is impressive. I'd give anything to see him, hands jerking himself, head thrown back, face relaxed in pleasure as he indulged in his solo passion...

Bugger.

Now I need to go have a toss.


	6. Chapter 6

August 19th, 1996: Day 6

I'm tempted to start a catalog of the smell of everyone's sexual fluids, particularly the boys. I don't recall wanking enough that I reeked of it when I was their age (although heavens knows James did occasionally – erk!) And today his son left a cloud of scent behind as he dashed from his bedroom to the bath to wash up.

I hope Harry enjoyed himself, at least.

It feels perversely delicious writing such things. Harry smells like a contradiction of odors – thick musty blankets and fresh rain-filled clouds. Like sweet sweaty boy, sugar and salt, frustration and determination, with a touch of yeast. Now that I write it, he smells like the cloud cakes Grandmamma Lupin used to make for the spring equinox – a touch of sweet, a touch of salt, a touch of yeast, but mostly fresh air. Full of promise...

I seem to be waxing nostalgic, but I can't tell if it's for food or sex.

Sex probably – Molly makes plenty of food. And last night I made use of my anonymous gift, after getting so worked up about Severus. It was satisfying, but not enough to prevent me from thinking that it would have been a lot better if the cock in my arse was attached to any one of the bodies in this house.

Still, there's something to be said for magic. The device warms up nicely, is self-lubricating, vibrates (which I turned off), and can be set to a rhythm and angle the user prefers and then charmed into a "hands-free" mode. Much more enjoyable than the Muggle devices I've had in the past where one's arms end up stretched at odd angles while both hands try to keep up their own separate rhythms (and ultimately fail at critical moments).

I think I'll keep this one. It'll certainly be handy if my libido and sense of smell continue to increase – it's not even been a week yet!

Bugger. I'm going to have to find a way to tell Severus about these side effects.

Ah well. At least I have blackmail material on his proclivities while brewing, if he gets too snarky.


	7. Chapter 7

August 20th, 1996: Day 7

Today I was cornered by the twins. I'm beginning to wonder what on earth is causing this bizarre teenage predilection for older men, and their former professor at that. I suppose I could understand crushes, particularly from the girls, as I had to deal with a few of those while I was teaching, but these blatant propositions are unprecedented. Have my cardigans suddenly become provocative? Is the offering of tea a new sexual euphemism?

Is there something in this bloody house that is turning us all into raging sex fiends???

Sigh. Anyway, there was I? Oh yes – the twins.

They were waiting in my room when I returned from my shower. I realize my bathrobe is a bit threadbare and small (a gift from Sirius when I was thirteen and suddenly embarrassed about wandering around in just a towel after bathing), but it in no way merits the lustful looks it prompted. After checking to ensure that it was belted firmly, I inquired what they needed.

"You," they said, not even bothering to come up with an excuse.

(If this trend continues, I weep for the future. The lost arts of romance and subtlety will simply descend into invitations to fuck. Simple, it's true, and direct, but boring. Sex is meant to be enjoyable – perhaps I should start using my new-found allure to invite them all into the library for lessons on sexual etiquette. Starting with "Do Not Slobber on Someone Unless Invited" and "Flirting Is Fun."

Merlin, I'm old. I remember when a look from a likely candidate and a nod towards the loo was enough. I'm being far too hard on them.)

Er. Right.

At any rate, the twins were not so easily put off as Harry. They clearly are more experienced (as I would expect, being older), and soon had me sandwiched between them. I confess I was too startled to react quickly. (Again, as with Harry, although for the opposite reason – the twins are quite enticing and if they were only a little older I suspect a romp with them might be quite fun. And yes – both of them. They apparently come as a pair, no pun intended.)

So there I was, one twin behind me, his cock pressed into my arse, lips on my throat, while the one in front had his hands on my waist, using his mouth to issue wicked invitations... Pink little tongue licking his lips enticingly...

I really wish I had fewer morals because even writing this has me hard and throbbing at the memory. It's been far too long since I had anyone at all in my bed, let alone two willing nubile young men...

(And yes I can tell Fred and George apart, usually. As far as I know, they are identical to the last freckle, but as a rule Fred is the more forward and more likely to initiate conversations, while George hangs back. Their attempted seduction, though, was too unexpected and while the more verbal twin in front was probably Fred, the silent twin rubbing against me was certainly more physically assertive. For my own peace of mind, I'll assume the one in front was Fred and the one behind was George. And who knows – perhaps George is more forceful in bed?)

I did, alas, turn them down and remove them from both my person and bedroom. Being a grown-up is wretched sometimes, or certainly does suck, to use the children's slang. (Merlin, what I wouldn't give for a nice good suck... Red hair twisted around my fingers, all eagerness and enthusiasm... Sigh.)

But I held on to my morals – the twins may be of age but they are still students. Not to mention their parents and older brothers' presence in this house being a bit of a prick-wilter. I can certainly wait a year and if they are still interested once they leave school, we'll see what comes of it.

One oddity was the parting words of Fred (I presume): "We just hate to think of you playing by yourself in here, all alone at night, with nothing but magic to aid you."

Do they know about the dildo? Was it from them? I suppose that the gift of a sex toy seems an appropriate way to issue a sexual invitation for those pranksters, but I'm still a bit surprised. Teenagers today are simply more worldly than I was – although by age eighteen I'm sure Sirius, at least, knew about such devices. He certainly knew his share of kinky spells by then...

So perhaps the dildo was from the twins. I suppose I'll have to thank them for it some time. I shudder to imagine the conversation, but with dread or delight is unclear. Perhaps a note would suffice...

("Abuse of parentheticals," I can hear old Professor Shamancastor saying, clucking his tongue. Ah well. My diary, my rules, so mental ghosts of former professors can just fuck off.)


	8. Chapter 8

August 21st, 1996: Day 8

I snogged Severus.

I'm going to write that again, just because I like the way it looks – I snogged Severus.

I was in his lab, discussing the potion with him. Talking about the side effects, namely my heightened sense of smell and the effect on my libido.

Severus was taking my pulse, after performing some magical diagnostics – anything medical beyond first aid spells has always been beyond me. I have no idea what happened, but one moment he was his usual self, detached and professional, and then the next he was stroking the inside of my wrist.

Stroking. As in, light touches of his fingertips on the sensitive skin of my inner wrist. With my sex drive so increased lately it's no wonder I couldn't control myself – it was like sparks through my entire body, instantly making my skin prickle and my prick awaken.

I couldn't help it; I moaned.

And Severus... I'm on some wonky experimental potion, but I have no idea what his excuse was. Our eyes met for a long moment and then I simply snapped and yanked him towards me and snogged the sneer right off his face.

Damn it was good, too. Severus is an excellent kisser – not too dry nor too moist, and those thin lips are more full than they appear when they're not pressed into their usual uncomplimentary scowl. He was quite enthusiastic about the kisses, and my hands were not the only ones gripping too hard on the others' body; I have finger-shaped bruises on my shoulders. And I know I felt his erection against my knee before he pulled back.

Which he did, far too soon for my liking. He almost apologized, I think, before simply turning and leaving. Yes, Severus fled his own potions lab. Somehow snogging me actually unsettled him enough to drive him from his sanctum sanctorum.

Ah well. I enjoyed it.

I'm going to do it again.


	9. Chapter 9

August 22nd, 1996: Day 9

Today the moon reaches first quarter. I'm wanking so often I think I might have set a new personal record. This afternoon's events did not help in the slightest.

I suppose with a houseful of randy adolescents, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Harry and I had decided to spend a few hours on defensive spells, but when we entered the library we discovered that it was already occupied. By a completely naked Draco Malfoy, bent over the arm of a sofa and being enthusiastically buggered by an equally nude Blaise.

I have to admit, they made a gorgeous picture, both aesthetically and pornographically. Lithe, toned young bodies, and angled just right so that an observer could see the entire length of Blaise's dark cock sliding into Draco's white arse from the doorway.

Apparently my response time at dealing with this sort of thing has not improved over the last week, as I stood there in shock for several seconds. Harry's shrill yelp when he finally succeeded in pushing past my shoulder alerted the two boys to their audience and they froze.

To my further surprise, their response at being caught was not the usual mortification and scramble to cover oneself. The pinkness of Draco's fair skin did betray some embarrassment in what he must have hoped was a seductive smirk, as he drawled, "Well, don't just stand in the door," in a nonchalant invitation.

Blaise merely grinned (in a way that somehow reminded me of Sirius at the same age) and added, "Voyeurism is participation!" His keenness for it was frankly a bit disturbing.

Harry was clearly not sophisticated enough for this scenario. We were both aroused by the tableau in front of us, but thank goodness I'm nearly forty and don't get hard at the drop of a hat anymore. I think Harry almost burst out of his threadbare jeans. I turned and left without a reply, assuming he was at my heels.

Halfway down the first flight of stairs, though, I noticed that he was nowhere to be found. I can't imagine that he stayed there with the two Slytherins... But who knows? Or perhaps he merely stopped at the nearest loo to relieve some pressure?

All I know is that the three boys showed up for dinner with no noticeable hex marks but a miasma of decidedly pungent odors that made my eyes water. Maybe Harry is managing to further his sexual education on his own...

I can't even put into words how disturbing I find it to think of Jamie's son in a carnal context. The other teenagers I can easily disassociate from their parents, but Harry... Although I try to see him as his own person, he will always remain James and Lily's son to me. He looks so much like them both. I feel a little badly about it at times because he definitely is his own man, but I changed his nappies for Morgana's sake! I don't want to think of his prick in any other context.

At any rate, at least Harry appears to be distracted by his age-mates. Hopefully that means he'll forget about his silly crush and leave me alone now.

Hm. I think I just heard Severus in the hallway...


	10. Chapter 10

August 23rd, 1996: Day 10

There is never a dull moment in this place. After this morning's shower, I returned to my room to find yet another sex toy on my pillow.

One fortunate aspect of the heightened sense of smell is that now I pretty much know the scent of every individual in this house and can tell who has recently been present in any given area. Which means that I was able to sniff out who was in my room this time.

Alas, I smelled traces of no less than three individuals who had all been in and out of my bedroom in the half hour during which I was in the bath.

(I am frankly appalled at this lack of privacy. Perhaps the Weasleys don't have locks on their doors, and I know the boys are used to dormitory living, and Sirius has never understood the concept of anything that isn't "his," but still. I am used to living a solitary life and this is Just Not Acceptable.)

Anyhow.

I am completely flummoxed as to what on earth Hermione, Charlie, and Severus could have all been doing poking around in my room. Their scents were not just at the doorway, either – they each came in and moved around the room a fair bit. I have no way of telling if they came in all together, or one at a time, or some combination thereof. Unfortunately, the sex toy itself had no trace of any of their odors upon it.

I suppose I should stop being so coy – it's a cock ring. I think.

I've never seen anything like it before. It consists of a series of rings which appear to be made of ivory or some other bone-hard substance (haha), both spaced out and held together by two leather straps on opposite sides. I suppose it's like a little cage for one's cock.

I haven't yet figured out the full extent of what it does, but when I slid the rings around two of my fingers, they automatically resized themselves and began a rippling or milking motion that seems as if it would be quite pleasurable. All in all, not a bad gift. I'm rather looking forward to giving it a go tonight.

Right now I'm off to go interrogate the three intruders and try to resolve this mystery.

N.B. I suppose this means that the dildo wasn't from the twins after all, unless Charlie (or Hermione) is acting as their delivery boy... Or Severus. Now that makes me laugh.

 


	11. Chapter 11

August 24th, 1996: Day 11

Holy Circe's tits! That cock ring is the best bloody sexual aid I've ever had the pleasure of, and I mean that most sincerely. I had its pleasure (my pleasure?) three times last night – fucking amazing! The rhythmic squeezing was better than the best handjob I've ever had from anyone else. Not even that spell I found for summoning an Incubus (or Succubus, if one prefers) was nearly as good.

Of course, there is something to be said for a handjob that is less technically ideal but comes from another person, someone to snog you and whisper dirty things in your ear, and let you reciprocate afterward... Still, for solo masturbatory practices, this one is a definite keeper.

Hold on, someone's coming...

Oh dear Merlin. Hermione just dropped by the library (where I'm writing) to get some more books and asked me if I was enjoying my new gift.

Please, for the love of all that is magic, please please PLEASE let her not be the one giving me naughty toys! Naughty toys that I've masturbated myself into a stupor with for the last week. Naughty toys whose praises I have just been listing with such lustful glee.

I feel like I've been hit with a bucket of cold water. In fact, I need a shower. Now. Ick.

(After shower.) I am such an idiot. I almost removed the last bit from the page, but have decided to leave it as a testament to my utter gittishness.

Hermione gave me this diary. Clearly, that must be what she was referring to, since there was not a trace of flirtatiousness in her words or face.

This new potion is obviously rotting my brain, or at the very least, relocating it into my bollocks. Will have to tell Severus tomorrow.

 


	12. Chapter 12

August 25th, 1996: Day 12

I need to get out of this bloody house. Luckily for me, I'm not one of the many individuals stuck here because the Death Eaters are vigilantly looking for them, so I'm going to go to the park.

(Later) I'm at the park. It's a lovely day outside, sunny and warm, and the park is full of children and their harried-looking mothers. I almost feel a touch guilty about escaping like this (thanks to puppy-dog looks from both Sirius and Harry), but not too much. Besides, Pads should have remembered that that look hasn't worked on me since we started shagging at seventeen, and it still doesn't, even though there's no hot sweaty sex anymore.

Much to my dismay, actually. I'd quite like to be hit on by an adult again one of these days. I think Ron tried to flirt with me this morning but I've decided to ignore it. The young adults are getting on my nerves far more than they ever did as children.

I suppose that's probably because I'm just as randy and strung-out on hormones as they are, and being constantly assaulted by both their pheromones and their clumsy attempts at seduction is testing my patience.

I want a man.

A grown man, with some hair on his chest and fully developed muscles, and possibly a bit taller than I am. A man with scars and a past and definitely some experience in bed even if he's not a perfect a lover. A man who won't flinch at the mere suggestion of rimming or blush at the idea of trying anything kinky.

A man who needs a shaving charm every single day, for Merlin's sake!

Ooh, ice cream...

(Back) They had my favorite flavor - double-chocolate!

Where was I? Ah yes; I want a man, not a boy. Poor Harry had me sum it up rather succinctly in my blundering way.

I'm not too picky, really. I'd settle for a nice comfort-fuck with Sirius, or a one-off (or even a relationship perhaps) with Bill or Charlie or Kingsley... And Severus' scent, coupled with the memory of his taste, torments me nightly. I want to tear off all of those buttons, lick every inch of his skin, taste the sweat on his arse, rub myself all over him, and cover him with my come. Fuck, I'm sweating and trying not to pant, just sitting here on a park bench, thinking about it.

I've never wanted to mark anyone as My Property the way I want to mark Severus. Too bad he's been so distant ever since that one kiss...

Bollocks to that. I'm tired of being so bloody passive. I wonder if I can seduce Severus in one night...

Only one way to find out!

 


	13. Chapter 13

August 26th, 1996: Day 13

Well, with the full moon two nights away, I suppose I can use moon-lust as an excuse for losing control like that.

I shagged Severus.

Well, not quite, but close enough to satisfy. I'm not going to brag about it, but I also don't want to forget how good it was, so I'm going to record the details here. Besides, I'm not above writing my own masturbatory materials.

We were in the potions laboratory, for my daily dose and check-in. Severus was probably not standing any closer than he usually does for the examination, but as I said above, moon-lust had kicked in, and combined with the ever-present raging hormones, well... When he touched me I just pounced.

I pulled him against me, pressing the full length of our bodies together, and waited only for the slightest moment to see if there was any refusal on his part before bringing our mouths together in a devouring kiss.

As I said before, Severus delivers one fantastic snog. (I wish I had not rushed the encounter so much, upon reflection, but I suppose I was too caught up in the moment. And perhaps there will be more snogging later. There certainly will be if I have any say in the matter!) At any rate, snogging turned into groping turned into grinding and frotting and Holy Morgana, but it was delightful.

I always suspected Severus of hiding a decent body under all of those buttons, and while I've still not seen it, it feels fantastic. Lean and sinewy, and yes perhaps a bit too thin, but strong and that's such a turn-on. He resisted enough that it felt good to be the aggressor but not so much that it seemed to be against his will at all. I do love to man-handle a bloke, and I think Severus could be everything I've ever dreamed of in that respect...

So there we were, snogging in the lab, hands everywhere, groins already starting up a familiar rhythm despite the hindrance of several layers of clothing. I considered Vanishing them but couldn't remember the charm to do that, as all of my concentration was presently occupied elsewhere. Severus was groping me back, his hands particularly focused on my arse, grabbing and squeezing and controlling the pace of our grinding.

He was as carried away as I was and making Severus Snape, Master of Self-Control, lose himself like that was just about the best feeling I have ever, ever had.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. A randy werewolf can only take so much stimulation. I now suspect that I growled, which had the unfortunate effect of causing Severus to pull away. However at the time, I simply seized the opportunity presented by the space between our bodies to rip open both of our trousers (with one hand each, no less – I can't remember the last time I got to use that particular trick), and then pulled him back again to rub our naked cocks together.

I suppose it was a bit odd, kinky even – two men, fully-dressed except for their pricks - but at the time I could not have cared less. The feeling of Severus against me, not just his body but his hard and eager cock too, was unforgettable. The smell of him, his hunger for it...

Ah, I can't find the words. For a quick snog and frot, it was the best I've ever had. Of course that might be my libido talking...

It was over too soon. The feeling of his naked skin against mine rushed me to and over the edge - within moments of that raw contact I was spilling myself over us both. (I confess to a seriously perverse pleasure in getting him dirty.) Severus followed not long after, with a sensual groan that I'm going to replay during every wank fantasy I have from now on, I think.

Unfortunately the end of the encounter left a bit to be desired. The atmosphere in the room was awkward as we Vanished the mess away and tidied up our clothing. Severus was horribly silent and prickly, while I couldn't quite hide what was probably a very satisfied grin.

He threw me out with an "I'm rather busy, Lupin," which was a fairly mild brush-off, all things considered. I risked my life for one last fleeting kiss and left before he regrouped enough to decide to hex off my bollocks for assaulting him. A few hours later he departed from the house without a word to anyone.

I hope he comes back soon.

 


	14. Chapter 14

August 27th, 1996: Day 14

I could get used to this mid-day sex arrangement. I'm more used to sex being an evening activity, but we're all stuck here in this miserable house with nothing to do, and sex is a better way to fill the hours than almost anything else.

Aside from tutoring Harry and reading alone in the library and helping Molly with the doxies and reminiscing about the Good Old Days with Sirius and a bottle of Ogden's, of course.

No - sex wins, hands down.

Earlier this afternoon, Severus came to my room. Seeing that as a Very Good Sign, I invited him in and he made himself comfortable on my desk chair. I have no idea what we talked about as it was awkward and inconsequential. I approached him; he stood up (he does hate for anyone to loom over him); and I pounced.

There was no resistance and in moments we were on the bed, kissing with eagerness as our clothing was ripped off hastily. At first it seemed like Severus would top, and I did love the way his body felt pressing against mine. But it is too close to the moon, I think, and when I rolled us over he went down willingly.

So willingly I could come just thinking about it, now.

Severus is an enthusiastic bottom (although I think that, like me, he probably has no preference, as he seemed equally willing to top before I asserted my more primal urges). I wish I had explored his body with the reverence it deserves, but my lust was urgent and it seemed that he was willing to go along with it. (Haven't I read somewhere that the first time you fuck it's for speed and the second for pleasure? Something like that...)

At any rate, he was everything I ever fantasized he would be – long and lean and pale. But strong, and I suspect we could grapple for dominance some time when the wolf in me does not so clearly need to win. And Severus was no suffering maiden, either; he wanted to get fucked and he wanted it now. He wandlessly locked and silenced the room before I'd even got his trousers off.

Next time, I promise myself, there will be more kissing and exploration. This time there was biting and sucking, hands stroking each other's pricks (but not too much), and the deep urgency to be inside and filled, respectively. I moved off of him with the intention of sucking his cock, but he'd rolled over and presented his arse before I had a chance to even get down there.

Next time, too, I'll taste him as I want. He stopped me before I could get my tongue in the right spot, demanding "Fuck me, Lupin. Don't bother with any of that right now."

I dared not disobey a cranky potions master who needs to be shagged, so I Summoned the lube (the bottle got a sniff of disdain from him but no objections) and slicked us both up as quickly as I could.

Bloody hell he was tight. But not in such a way that demanded that I slow down and give him time to open up – more in the way of wanting it so badly that it's difficult to relax. I confess that I didn't slow down, following the cues of both his words and body, and was soon sliding into the tightest arse I've had the joy of fucking in decades.

Again, as always, I wish it could have lasted longer. I did at least manage to bring Severus off before I came, and seemed to have found the perfect angle right from the start if his moans were any indication. His cock practically leapt into my hand and was spurting before I'd given it even a half-dozen strokes. His eagerness was simply phenomenal.

I hadn't had a proper fuck in ages myself, so I didn't last much longer than he did. I almost blacked out there for a moment, and I think my vision did go grey and swimmy. I also bit him, rather hard, and left a deep purple mark on his neck. Probably growled, too, but what else can you expect when you get fucked by a werewolf two days before the full moon?

We lay in a sticky, sweaty tangle for a bit – it was so nice that he didn't simply clean up and run off again. We didn't talk, but I think we are perhaps coming to an understanding that we could be mutually beneficial to each other, if nothing else. I would like more, but at the moment I'll happily settle for just a fuck. If it grows into something else over time, then so be it.

He did charm away the massive love bite on his neck, which bothered me. Ah well – I'll just have to re-create it next time!

 


	15. Chapter 15

August 28th, 1996: Day 15

Last night was even better than the first time. Well, in some ways it was. Our coupling was even more frantic, urgent, and full of moon-crazed lust. I hate losing control like that. Almost as much as I love it. Story of my life, I suppose.

I bit him, and he spelled it away and I growled. I'm so embarrassed. But I wanted, I needed, to mark him, to claim him, to take him. I don't think he objects (although he might in any long-term sense), but he definitely prefers to leave my bedroom unbruised. I don't know if it's because of his status as a spy or just a personal thing.

I shouldn't let myself get so upset about it. And to be honest, that's not what I'm upset about, of course. I'm upset because tonight is the full moon and I won't be seeing Severus at all. I know he would be filled with terror, despite the potion (which I have only just now realized might possibly fail, being experimental). I know that aside from Lord Voldemort, Moony is the creature he's most afraid of, and with good reason, given his past experiences. Werewolves, in general, are his weakness – I can't imagine how he feels about having to work with Fenrir.

Sirius is the only lover I've ever had who was there with me once I'd transformed. One or two others expressed a desire to, but they weren't animagi and I didn't have the Wolfsbane to assure their safety. It's always been an aspect of my relationship with Sirius that has given it an extra depth, a deeper connection than I've had with any other lover...

But now the Wolfsbane potion could give me the chance to feel that connection, to feel that deeply for someone else. If only they were brave enough to keep company with a werewolf, even a harmless one with a human mind...

How depressing. Moon time always makes me maudlin. Well, no, it makes me temperamental, to be specific. Quick to lose my temper, snappish at foolish behavior, feeling hopeless about the state of my life, and unrelentingly randy. My skin itches for the whole day before, even with the potion. I can count the hours until moonrise by its intensity – I'd guess it's about four hours away at the moment.

Rather than dwell on things I cannot change, I think I will let my cock distract me, as it always wants to at this time.

Aside from the animal-inspired biting and marking last night, I also finally got to take some time to explore Severus' body and approach something more like making love and less like rutting. The second time we had sex last night, of course. The first time, we barely managed to Apparate to my room and get the door locked before we had our hands down each others' pants, jerking each other to a quick climax.

After that, we collapsed on the bed and finished undressing each other. Severus is very tactile, which I would never have guessed from how standoffish he is outside of the bedroom. We got to indulge in a long snogging session – the moon makes me randy enough to get hard again quickly but not quite so urgently. Severus, of course, has a longer refractory period, being almost forty and not a lycanthrope.

Once he was hard again and no longer over-sensitive, I sucked him until he was groaning steadily. Unlike me, he very much enjoys having his bollocks handled roughly... I stopped before he got too far along and rolled him over. What can I say, the wolfish side of me knows what it wants.

I tasted him, finally, that darkly forbidden taste, which seems more taboo than anything else. I felt like I could drown in his flavor and scent, more than I remember feeling so with any other lover. But then, I have been attracted to Severus for a very long time

Severus indicated that he wished to top, but he was willing to not push the issue when I said that I needed to do it. Next time, though, I suspect I'm in for the reaming of my life...

Sounds bloody brilliant to me!

By then the foreplay had gone on long enough that I was shaking, trying to maintain control. Which of course means that I thoroughly lost control during the actual fucking and was far more rough than I intended. Not that Severus seemed to mind, the kinky bugger. It was wild and fast, and again my orgasm was so intense that it made me dizzy. No wonder they call it a little death...

Severus stayed for a bit, and while I wouldn't call collapsing in a spent and sticky heap while we regained our breath "cuddling," it was still very nice. Also, after the earlier confrontation, this time he seemed to know that he ought to do his healing spells on the love bites in private, rather than in front of me.

I only wish he liked them...

Well, time for a quick wank (perhaps with one of my new toys), and then some time trying to read and anxiously pacing for the next few hours. Perhaps I'll track down Sirius and see if he's up for some pre-moonrise dueling or something... Maybe even Harry – he's getting pretty good. Of course if I snap and shout at him, he might never try to snog me again.

Yes, Harry then.

 


	16. Moon to Moon

August 29th, 1996: Day 16

Gods. So tired. I wonder if Severus could come up with some potion or cure that makes the day after the change less wretched... Thank goodness for the Dictaquill spell...

Where was I? Ah yes, yesterday late afternoon. Harry and Sirius were together, so I dueled Harry while Sirius shouted encouragements and suggestions at him from the couch. When I started to skirt the more grey area of allowable spells, he sent Harry away and the two of us went at it until he tripped me up with a series of childish jinxes, leaving me writhing in helpless laughter under a Rictusempra.

Once he Finited me, I noticed Severus hovering in the doorway. He was there with my daily dose, as it was only about half an hour until moonrise. The potion was horrid (my sense of smell was far more enhanced than usual that day) and Severus himself reeked of fear.

On one hand, I feel badly that he is so afraid of me, and I understand that being surprised by a werewolf at age sixteen must have left deep mental scars. On the other hand, I feel disappointed and disillusioned, as Severus is clearly not the partner that I truly long for. The sex was great and I think we could have a good relationship, but he would have to overcome his fear. I can't be with someone who is afraid of me even before moonrise.

For some reason, that hurts far more than it ought to, after just a few shags.

At any rate, Sirius and I went down to the basement, just to be extra safe, in case something went pear-shaped with the new potion. The actual bone-rearrangement seemed to be a shade less painful (I think – hard to tell), and I did keep my human mind, as hoped. Sirius and I romped around the back garden for a bit, then spent the rest of the night snoozing in a happy canine pile in front of the fire Sirius had built.

Sirius is much more cuddly as a dog. As always, his presence is soothing, comfortable. Perhaps I ought to put more effort into rekindling that relationship than in trying to overcome so much bad blood with Severus...

Tired. Sleep now.


	17. Chapter 17

August 30th, 1996: Day 17

After my nap, I woke up with Padfoot in bed with me. As I said, Sirius is always a bit more tactile that way. Not that he isn't touchy-feely in human form, just that you're as likely to get a slap on the back that almost knocks you over as you are a warm embrace. He was always very casual with his body, I suppose... Which isn't a bad thing, just very different from how I am; I've always had to be quite careful with mine. It's never bothered me that Sirius slept around - even when we were together, we weren't exclusive. And Morgana knows that if I had his looks, I would have shagged around a bit more.

Where was I? Right - in bed with a dog. Paddy's body heat kept me pretty warm, which helped soothe the aches and pains. When I woke up Sirius brought me some broth and toast, and kept me company while I ate. After I finished, he offered to give me a massage. Although he hasn't offered one in quite some time, it's not completely unheard of either, so I agreed.

(It had been quite some time since I'd eaten at this point, and several of the others had dropped in to see how I was recovering. Not Severus, though. Sirius told me that Severus had to leave while I was still asleep, so he left my daily dose of the potion for me to take after I ate something.)

As always, Sirius' strong hands squeezed and pummeled the aches out of my body, leaving me in a state of boneless bliss under his ministrations. After he'd rolled me over and went to work on my front, he noticed my (not quite boneless) response to his hands. What can I say, some things learned at a young age just stay with you forever, and even tired and achy, Sirius' hands on my naked body get me hard.

He made some quip about massaging "everywhere," and I was too content to consider stopping him. His hands on my cock felt different, somehow – I suppose I must have been comparing them to Severus'. Sirius' are rougher, although I'm not sure how that could be, as it isn't as if he does any manual labor...

At any rate, it was good; he was good. Sirius didn't draw it out but he didn't rush either. And it was nice to be held and snogged by him during it. By the time he finished me off, he was in the same state, and of course I enjoyed watching while he added his release to the mess on my stomach. Sirius does have a fine cock, I will admit that. Both long and thick, yet not obscenely so. It turns the most delicious shade of maroon right before he comes...

He's a bit ravaged by time and Azkaban, I suppose, but in my eyes Sirius Black will always be one of the most beautiful men I've ever known.

 


	18. Chapter 18

August 31st, 1996: Day 18

A few notes about the potion, as I keep forgetting that that is the actual purpose of this diary. As far as the transformation is concerned, this new variant is just as effective as the regular potion. There was no discernable change on either the process of the transformation or on my retention of my mind. I suppose I will learn to live with the heightened sense of smell and increased libido, if indeed they persist beyond these first few weeks or months.

After spending a day in bed and thanks to Sirius' massage (both of them) and Molly's food, I'm feeling quite my normal self.

I've still not seen Severus, as he's been back at Hogwarts preparing for the school term – which begins day after tomorrow. The children (accompanied by a sizeable portion of the Order) fetched their supplies from Diagon Alley yesterday while I was sleeping. Apparently Harry made quite a fuss about being trapped here (as did Sirius), but luckily someone with sense managed to ground them.

I have been thinking about Sirius and have concluded, based on his typically casual treatment of me since, that the handjob meant nothing to him. Which is fine, really, as it meant very little to me, aside from comfort. I suppose that's all he intended anyway.

Still, I find myself wishing for a companion, a lover. And while I know that Sirius and I are not terribly compatible that way, it seemed for a while that perhaps we could make it work...

The sad truth is that I miss Severus quite a lot and with him back to living at Hogwarts, I'm not sure we could make it work. It's a moot point anyway, if he can't deal with the reality of being a werewolf's lover.

Also, I think Kingsley flirted with me today. He asked me about Sirius "giving me a helping hand" after my transformation and gave me a knowing look. Perhaps the solution to what I am looking for lies in a man with whom I do not have a twenty-year history - what a novel concept!

Perhaps I ought to consider the other possibilities... And I'm not actually limited to the members of this house, although keeping it in the Order (and among the people who already know about my condition) would help. The fewer secrets kept, the better.

Kingsley could be a decent companion. We certainly have enough shared interests, and are both quite practical and down-to-earth... However, aside from his suggestive comment earlier, he's never indicated any interest in me in that way at all. He may not be attracted to me...

By Morgana, I don't know if I am attracted to him – I ought to consider that as well, shouldn't I? Who I'm interested in, not just who will have me. I may not be a prize, but I do have something to offer.

So let's consider Kingsley... I know that I get along with him as a friend, but what about as a lover?

I can readily imagine being fucked by him (I'm such a bottom after the moon). I picture being on my back, legs spread wide, folded in half by his powerful arms while he pounds his huge cock into my arse until I'm desperate to come. I imagine him rather well-hung, although you never can tell. However, if his cock is proportional to the rest of him, then it ought to be quite nice indeed.

I close my eyes and see vague images of all of that smooth dark skin, hovering above me. He's quite built, too. I suppose being an auror keeps him in shape. His arm muscles make me want to sink my teeth into them (my teeth, not Moony's) and I haven't seen his legs, but I can guess that his thighs are equally well-defined. I'm hard just thinking about his body... Broad smooth chest, perhaps with a bit of hair, and mostly the sense of being overwhelmed and taken, which is what I crave most right now.

I will have to think about Kingsley. Perhaps with that hands-free dildo, even.


	19. Chapter 19

September 1st, 1996: Day 19

The children are gone – all of them! Against my better judgment, I "took my dog" with me, so that he could say good-bye properly.

There was minimal fuss, as the Ministry had loaned us cars. Since it was all coordinated through Kingsley and DMLE (rather than Arthur), it was kept a secret. It's nice to see that the aurors are almost as keenly interested in keeping Harry safe as we are.

And, fortunately, they know nothing about "my dog."

There was a round of hugs at departure. Despite the fact that Harry usually heads off with a squashing hug from Molly and a handshake to everyone else, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a wet kiss, which I only just managed to have land on my cheek rather than my lips. I suppose the crush isn't over yet.

He looked chagrined when I pushed him away and his blush deepened to a nice strawberry color when "my dog" barked at him. Apparently despite how close Harry and Sirius have become this summer, "my dog" was not privy to Harry's interest in me.

Well, at any rate, he's gone now, along with the rest of them. That leaves just the Order in the house, as Molly and Arthur have gone back to the Burrow.

Harry's kiss was actually better than the last one. Which makes me wonder if he's been practicing. On one hand, I hope so, because it would be more appropriate for him. On the other hand, if he's been practicing with others and still wants to snog me, that doesn't lend much weight to my hopes that he'll forget about the crush. Oh well, I suppose I will deal with that when forced to.

Also, school resuming means that Severus is now gone. He's left the bottle of potion with strict instructions about when and how to take it. He says that he will be checking back at least once a week, when he can spare some time away from his duties as professor and Head of House.

I don't understand why I feel so very lonely when all summer I've wanted everyone to go away.


	20. Chapter 20

September 2nd, 1996: Day 20

I forgot to say this before, about the potion: I felt back to normal-strength and energy two days post-moon, rather than the usual three. I suppose that might have been due to Sirius' massage(s), rather than the potion, though...

Very little has happened today, so far. It's quiet, which is nice, although Sirius is moody, which is not. Kingsley is coming by this evening - perhaps we can all three spend some time together, polishing off still more of the wine cellar.

Bill is still here, researching something in the library – I suppose only the Malfoy's collection on Dark magic surpasses the Black's. Charlie and Tonks are back and forth. I think they're dating.

And I... What have I been doing? I have been trying not to think about sex, mostly. Trying not to think about how very much I would like to fuck Sirius' sweet arse again. Trying not to think about how much I would enjoy Severus shagging me good and hard. Trying not to think about sucking Kingsley's cock. And trying very hard to keep any impure thoughts about redheads out of my mind.

I suppose Bill and Charlie are not as off-limits as the others (obviously, since they're no longer at school). Charlie is, what, thirteen years younger than I am? And Bill is eleven, then? That's not terrible, but still. It's not such a wide gulf between mid-twenties and late-thirties, assuming we had enough in common otherwise...

But there I go again, thinking in terms of Relationships instead of Casual Shagging. Whatever is wrong with me?

Of course, having just written that I am trying to stop myself from having prurient thoughts has brought them all right back, full-steam. And since I have just enumerated all of the possible objects of my desires, I am now entertaining myself with visions of an orgy of six...

What would it take to get Severus, Kingsley, Sirius, Bill, Charlie and myself all naked and randy at the same time? Perhaps some stray lust-inspiring hex would do it, but it doesn't really matter in my head. Severus is the one most out of place in this fantasy, and frankly my feelings for him are rather complicated, so we'll just leave him out of it for now (sorry, Sev).

In this daydream scenario, I would like to fuck... Hmm... I think Charlie. All of that young muscle and brawn under my hands. Kingsley will be fucking my arse, while I take Sirius' lovely prick in my mouth. Delicious. Oh dear, I've run out of places for Bill. I suppose I shall have to wank him and promise him a go on the next round. Perhaps Sirius can assist with Bill...

That's very indulgent scenario, isn't it? But it's mine, so of course I get to be the center of attention. Perhaps Severus could walk in and watch all of us, five bodies twisting together, various shapes and sizes, all delectable. And me with every possible orifice filled...

Maybe I will let Sirius fuck Bill after we all come once. Or I could do the honor myself. Yes, I think I'll do it – Sirius always gets drowsy after he comes.

Maybe I could let my dominant wolfish side out to play and order the others to do my bidding. I'd make both Weasleys kneel and suck Kingsley and Sirius, and maybe trade back and forth at my whim while I watch. Maybe they would even kiss each other, which appeals to my perverse side. And I would allow whichever redhead does the best job of sucking cock to taste my own prick. Or I could reward him with a thorough shagging, instead...

The possibilities are endless. On the plus side, at least I now have two wonderful toys to help while away the hours. I think I shall imagine the Gates as Weasley mouths and the dildo as Kingsley's cock.

(I do hope Arthur and Molly have no idea of the nature of my thoughts toward their sons. I shudder to think what they would say if they ever read this diary.)


	21. Chapter 21

September 3rd, 1996: Day 21

Today I did something that seems more foolish than wise – I owled Severus and asked when I would see him again, and wasn't terribly subtle about wanting his company rather than just his potions expertise.

I can't stop thinking about him. I mean, I can, for the length of time it takes me to have one off while fantasizing about one of the other men in this house, but... I know it's probably a mistake, but I'd at least like to resolve things with him one way or another, in my head, before I decide to pursue someone else.

I want him back. I don't want to want him so much; it seems most likely that his problems with my lycanthropy will make any kind of relationship impossible. So this can only end badly for me. Yet I feel compelled to see it through... To give him the benefit of the doubt until he says explicitly that he does not want me and why.

I'm not usually this much of a masochist.

I just want him, and now that I've had him, physically, I want more. Permanently perhaps, even, which is terrifying, let me tell you. Who would have ever thought I'd want to shackle myself to Severus Snape, of all people? It would not be a peaceful match, that's for sure. I might be fairly easy-going but I'm no pushover and I imagine our rows would be something of legend. His snits already are, and he holds grudges tighter than a Vestal Virgin her arse.

Then again, he has been different with me lately. We have not talked much, I suppose, but with some people actions speak louder than words, and Severus has always had a lot of bark and very little bite (although he is vicious once he sinks his teeth into you, to carry on with the analogy). He bottomed for me when I needed him to, when there was no possibility of letting him top, without a word of argument. He's made this potion, perhaps not for me alone, but for my benefit, certainly. For reasons I'm not clear on, he's not only consented to have sex with me, but been the one to make the first moves, to stroke my wrist, to come to my room. He does want me.

The question is, does he want me enough to stop being afraid of me?

There's an owl at the window – perhaps it's his reply...

 


	22. Chapter 22

September 4th, 1996: Day 22

Still no reply from Severus.

Bugger this – potions update first. My sense of smell is either diminishing slightly or I'm becoming used to it. Possibly it is the lack of teenage pheromones constantly assaulting me. I can't say – I'd need Severus to do some diagnostics.

My sex drive remains high, more so than usual, I think. I've always enjoyed a good wank, and two per day is not unheard of during the week preceding the moon, but it's at last-quarter right now, so it's a bit unusual that I need to toss off first thing in the morning and once before bed, at minimum.

I have found it difficult to focus on any reading material, and since the children are gone, I can only look to the potion as the cause. Unless it's simply that I want a good hard fuck, which is within the realm of possibility. I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't get shagged soon.

I know Severus is busy. And I can't ignore the fact that he might not be as interested as I am... I had sort of thought he might be, because of how he acted, but no words were ever said so perhaps I was mistaken.

The only other thing worth writing today also has me feeling a bit down: Sirius smelled of sex this morning, and like someone other than himself. Kingsley, I think, which means not only that the ideas of rekindling anything with Sirius is out of the question, but that Kingsley is off-limits as well.

Kingsley had already departed for the day, so there was no chance of smelling him. Sirius had that just-fucked air of contentment about him as he fixed his morning cuppa. I'm happy for him, really – I suspect they would make a good match, now that I think about it.

I am however a bit sad for myself. Sometimes life sucks.


	23. Chapter 23

September 5th, 1996: Day 23

Still no reply from Severus. Which might be a good thing, as it turns out.

Charlie stopped by last night. We polished off the remains of a bottle of ninety year old Dragonsbreath brandy and got a bit relaxed. The conversation slid, as it does, into sharing confidences about relationships. Evidently he's just broken off with Tonks.

Somehow, the talk of old relationships ended up turning into a comparison of scars. Charlie's got some impressive ones, including a big burned swathe on his lower back. Almost as big as my bite from Fenrir, in fact.

The scar comparisons led to clothing removal. And the brandy led to clumsiness, which somehow meant that I ended up sprawled on the floor with Charlie on top of me. It wasn't uncomfortable – neither of us was feeling any pain at that point – and it wasn't awkward either.

Of course we were completely pissed.

Before I knew what was going on, amiable sprawling turned into touching and kissing, and then we were rolling around on the rug trying to struggle out of our clothing. He seemed to think I would want to top, but I was feeling far too lazy to make the effort and managed to cajole him into fucking me instead. I should have known better – if someone has to be prodded into topping, they probably aren't going to get into it enough to do a good job. Or perhaps the liquor made him sloppy.

Or maybe Charlie's just not a good shag.

He did say that he's only been with men a few times. And he is only twenty-four. Still, at twenty-four, I was a better lay than that...

Now I'm just being unkind. He wasn't that bad. Didn't spend enough time on preparation, though, and that made it more uncomfortable for me than bottoming usually is. It's also been a while, since I never got to bottom for Severus... Still, I've been screwing myself silly with that dildo and I should have been able to relax.

Anyway, there wasn't enough prep and he didn't last all that long. He did suck me off after he came, though, and was decent enough at that. I suppose my fantasies of Weasley blowjobs are still valid.

Perhaps I'm just a tired old wolf. There wasn't the chemistry (ha) with Charlie that there is with Severus, but it isn't fair to write him off entirely, either. I should give him another chance, when we're both sober, and he can either be coached into topping properly or he can bottom. I do still think shagging him would be hot.

He has a gorgeous body. Strong, with huge bulky muscles, and lovely pale skin under all those freckles... A youthful body, but definitely a man's, with the stubble and chest hair to prove it. And as I had imagined, my hands twisted in his hair, holding him to my cock while he sucks me dry, is a magnificent sight...

Yes. I will have to give Charlie another chance, indeed.

After all, what do I have to lose?

 


	24. Chapter 24

September 6th, 1996: Day 24

Today was one of the most gigantic cock-ups of my life.

Yesterday, Thursday night, was spent alone. Well, mostly – Sirius came looking for me in the evening and wanted company for another round of drinking and reminiscing. More drinking, as he doesn't have much to say about the missing decade-plus, and Morgana knows I don't want to talk about what I was doing with my life during that time.

As usual, we talked about how great life was at school and for the four years post-graduation, skipping the bits where we all suspected each other of betrayal while our friends were killed off one by one (or two by two).

While I understand and sympathize with Sirius' need to talk about the Good Old Days and even do some mourning for the Bad Old Days, I am finished with that. Mostly, I drink and try to keep him from getting too depressed. Or too drunk, which amounts to the same thing.

Suffice to say that I woke up this morning with the mother of all hangovers and Sirius had already consumed the last dose of Uncle Grogg's Morning-After Remedy. (The thoughtless bastard hadn't even chucked the bottle in the bin; he just put it back in the cabinet, empty. Once I'd apparated to and from Slug and Jiggers, though, I transfigured all of the robes in his wardrobe into the purple and green chevrons on the bottle's logo. I do hope he'll take the hint.)

What this all amounts to is that I began today hung over, grouchy, and with a taxing errand to Diagon Alley. (Not only do I loathe apparating when I'm not fully awake – I'm always afraid I'll get splinched – but the garish labels of the products lining shelves in the apothecary shop feel like an assault aimed at any wizard who might have over-indulged the night before. Uncle Grogg's being the particular case in point today, although the Bombay Fire brand of Pepperup, with its incessantly flickering red flames, is also an offender.) By the time I returned, it was almost gone noon. I had a quick bite and then lost myself in the library for several hours (Albus has me researching inferi, for some reason).

I made my way to the kitchen in the late afternoon, contemplating supper. (I don't miss living with Molly and her constant nagging, but I do miss her cooking. And her brow-beating of Sirius like he was one of her wayward children, of course – I enjoy that a great deal.) And speaking of Molly's children, who did I find in the kitchen but Charlie, perusing the cupboards hungrily.

We made and ate supper together (unsurprisingly, all of the Weasley boys cook fairly well – or at least compared to Sirius' variations on beans and toast and my tinned soup and eggs fifteen ways). Sirius joined us to eat and then did his usual disappearing trick once it was time to tidy up.

Charlie and I had things fairly well under control until a stray pot smashed into a plate and suddenly there were suds and shards of china everywhere. Before I could get my wand out, Charlie scooped up a handful of suds and started a water fight, which quickly turned from playful wrestling to lustful groping. I'd just gotten his shirt pulled off and was tossing it across the room while he nibbled at my neck, when who should suddenly floo in through the kitchen fire?

Yes indeed - Severus.

He turned tail and ran, stepping back into the floo before I could do much more than push Charlie away. He was... Well, now that I think about it, Severus' expression seemed more shocked and hurt than angry. Hmmm...

I suppose that since it's Friday, it was reasonable to assume that he might pop by some time, now that classes are finished for the week. But he never replied to my owl, so... And I do lose track of the days here in this mausoleum...

Well. Either he was coming by just to check about the potion or he wasn't. Either way, finding me in a clinch with Charlie must have been a surprise, although of course I do rather hope that his feelings were hurt, not in a vindictive way, but because that means he is still interested in me.

Unfortunately, if that's true, then it follows that now I face the boundless joy of groveling for his forgiveness, and I have known Severus to forgive about easily as he apologizes. Which is to say that it has happened, once or twice perhaps, but rarely.

Oh, and I sent Charlie packing, to finish up that thread of the story. I was too shaken up, and despite my urge to follow after Severus immediately, I know he'll need the night to cool off.

Charlie's not all that tempting anyway. Not much.

Some perhaps.

But not compared to Severus.

Some days it's just not worth the trouble of getting out of bed.

 


	25. Chapter 25

September 7th, 1996: Day 25

It is too bad I can't put a picture of myself in this diary, since I think the expression on my face says it all right now – smug, a little tired, and very very pleased.

I got him back.

I woke up this morning and Flooed straight into Severus' quarters at Hogwarts. He was already up, of course, making something unbearably foul-smelling in his private laboratory. I was a little concerned that he might hex me straight away, but he seemed to be struggling to maintain his usual aloof facade instead.

Rather than wait for his verbal attack, I apologized, saying something like "I'm sorry you walked in on Charlie and I together. I didn't know whether you still wanted me or not." He tried to respond, but I cut him off, saying that if I had known he was interested, I would never have dallied with anyone else. I asked him, point blank, whether he did want me, and said that I wanted him.

Of course he snarled and snapped and refused to answer the question. Severus is really so very easy to read once you understand his language.

I knew I had two choices – try to soothe the savage beast or dominate him.

Guess which one I chose?

Indeed – I slammed him against the wall and locked my lips with his before he had a chance to cast whatever spell it was he was thinking of when he grabbed for his wand. (Severus has always been quick with his wand, but is frequently a touch surprised by physical attacks, and I couldn't resist using that against him.)

I let him up for air and demanded an answer to my blunt question – did he want me? I don't think my arm across his throat really influenced his answer, as he certainly took his time in giving it. And of course, being Severus, he couldn't just say "yes" like a normal person: "I am not adverse to the idea of physical relations with you, if you can drag yourself away from your other amorous entanglements," he said. (But then if he were "normal," I doubt I'd be any more interested in him than I am in, say, Charlie.)

Thinking of how his eyes flashed with such intensity makes me hard, so many hours later, back in my room...

I didn't let him get away with just that, though. "You're mine then," I said. "Not simply for a shag; I want more than that, Severus. I want to be with you."

He nodded slightly, and I accepted that as an answer. I know we will have to work through his fear of me, of my disease, of Moony. But I do think he is willing, and intentions are worth a lot in relationships, so I am hopeful that we can work it out.

And of course then I shagged him practically through the wall.

It was aggressive, rough, claiming sex. Both us had adrenaline highs, and I know he doesn't mind a bit of discomfort (and of course I'd never truly hurt him). I ripped his robes apart and growled when he started to bitch about the buttons popping off. I bit a ghastly bruise into his neck, at the joint of his shoulder, then licked a path directly down his spine to his arse.

I barely had him wet and starting to relax and open under my tongue when he summoned some lubricant and thrust it at me. I fucked him with my fingers for only moments before replacing them with my eager prick and shoving him hard against the wall.

Thank goodness the dungeon rooms are so well-insulated against sound – I think his shout as I slid into his tight arse would have woken the entire Slytherin dormitory otherwise!

I was not gentle. I was not tender or slow or patient.

I fucked him as hard as I could and I enjoyed every bloody second of it. Every groan, every gasp, every slide of flesh into flesh, every aspect of losing control so thoroughly that I was almost mindless with want and need and having.

I have fucked and I have shagged, but I have never ever claimed any man the way I claimed Severus Snape this morning.

I'm not letting him go, either.

Once we'd both climaxed (and I'd never known Severus could yell so loudly), we retired to his bedroom. As soon as he was able, he fucked me into the mattress in his own forceful way. His cock in my arse, filling me, pounding into me relentlessly... It was so delicious I can't even find words.

I don't think either of us will be able to walk properly tomorrow. I can't stop grinning about that, either.

 


	26. Chapter 26

September 8th, 1996: Day 26

I found the most interesting item on Severus' desk this morning while he was in the shower – an order form for Magical Indiscretions Adult Wizarding Novelties, a little shop in Festive Alley. And a receipt for two toys, which I am now intimately familiar with. So that's one mystery solved, at least, though not the motivation for his gifts.

And also, it does make it more clear to me that Severus is interested in me and has been for quite some time. After all, I received the first "gift" right after we began the new potion experiment... Perhaps the potion was part of his courtship plan as well... Although he did seem genuinely flustered the first few times we snogged... Well who knows – I'll have to ask the snarky, mysterious bastard and see what I can find out (as if he'd tell me).

My snarky, mysterious bastard.

Hmm. Too early to say, I suppose, but I think I might be in love. I know I'm in love with the way he snuffles in his sleep and the way he doesn't quite wake up entirely before thrusting back onto my cock in the middle of the night.

I won't say this is the best sex I've ever had, but only because such statements are a cliche and indicate a lack of perspective, not to mention insulting comparisons with former lovers. The shagging is brilliant though, and for once I can't decide if I prefer my cock in his arse or his in mine, or even if I favor a slow sweet screw over a rough-and-tumble hard fuck.

The fact that I get all four possibilities, without having to choose, and that he seems equally as flexible as I, is a phenomenal delight.

Since it was Sunday, we spent all day locked in Severus' quarters. I ache and am sore and have bruises everywhere – it seems that Severus doesn't have a problem with bites and marks, so long as he gets to leave his own in return. He hasn't spelled away the marks I've given him, nor even made a move to do so, although I suspect he will before class tomorrow morning. Perhaps he has already, even, since I'm back at Grimmauld Place for the night, now, as he has class straight away in the morning.

Ah well. I'll give him more the next time I see him. The sight of his neck, wreathed in mottled purple and red, makes my prick tingle.

 


	27. Chapter 27

September 9th, 1996: Day 27

Well, this morning was exciting. Although I assume that by now Severus has healed the bruises and abrasions I left on him, I had not done the same – I like touching them and feeling the mild aches and remembering.

I didn't take any pains to hide them from curious eyes, either. I got a knowing grin and a wink from Charlie in the kitchen as I made my morning tea (which was an easy and pleasant way to end that particular muddle), but then everything went arse over teakettle when Sirius came to bother me in the library before lunchtime, as he often does.

Sirius exploded. I should have expected it, and I would have if I'd bothered to think about his reaction at all. I suppose I ought to have - he is my best friend, but I'm not perfect. I'm distracted and happy and, frankly, I think I deserve to be.

Naturally he let forth with a round of "how could you?" and "greasy bat" and "bastard traitor" and all of his usual condemnations. He will always loathe Severus. I suspect that their mutual animosity will be a source of tension for as long as Severus and I manage to remain together. Sirius will always be my best friend, for as long as we both live; he is my brother, far more than if we had come from the same womb...

Anyway, I told him to shut his fucking mouth. And for once in the history of everything, Sirius was stunned into silence by my forcefulness. (I think there was a deeper resonance to my voice than usual, but I have no idea what that was all about.)

In the course of the following discussion about trust and respect, Sirius also admitted than he's been seeing Kingsley for over a month. They were keeping it quiet while Harry and the others were around, out of some misguided sense of decorum. Clearly they have no idea what the "children" in this house were doing all summer...

All's well that ends well, I suppose. Sirius is disapproving but accepting of my 'whatever' with Severus. His fling with Kingsley is out in the open (although I suspect Kingsley may well be a bit more significant than a mere "fling." Sirius, as usual, would rather gnaw off his own tongue than use the word "love" in any meaningful way. They are a good match, though – far better than either of them would have made for me.)

He even relaxed enough to poke fun at me for the number of love bites that were visible despite my clothing. Just imagine all of the vampire comments I would have been subjected to if he knew about the ones covering my chest and thighs and arse!

 


	28. Chapter 28

September 10th, 1996: Day 28

I don't have anything to say about the potion. Or very much about today in general, to be honest. Instead, I'm enclosing a copy of a letter I sent to Severus this afternoon:

_Dear Severus,_

When can I see you again? Or, to be more direct, when can I fuck you again? My hands ache to feel your skin, my tongue yearns to taste your neck, and my prick aches to be buried in your hot, tight arse.

Was that too crude? It's honest at least. Perhaps you'd prefer a more suave seduction, a slow courtship to match what I suspect were your original plans. Too bad. I'm a forthright sort of man, and furthermore, I suspect that's what you like about me – we complement each other well.

Shall I compliment you? Tell you how much I love your eyes, their depth and intensity, and that I have always longed to be the focus of your attention, ever since school? I was always slightly jealous of your potions textbooks back then – I wanted to have your concentrated gaze fixed upon me.

It's true that your lips are somewhat thin, but your kisses are Incendiary. You snog like it's an event, a moment to be savored rather than a mere pause on the path to fucking. I particularly love it when you relax your mouth and let me ravish you, passive and acquiescent, and begging to be taken like some fair maiden.

Maidenly you are not. Fair, though, I'll give you that. Pale and yes, even sallow. I intend to drag you out into the sun at the park before autumn passes into winter, if you will let me. (I don't want to dominate you anywhere but in the bedroom, Severus, and only during the waxing moon at that.)

Your hair is a gorgeous color. I think you are the only one of our age-mates who hasn't even a touch of grey. (You don't use a potion, do you? I can't imagine that you would.) And it is quite soft. I love the way it feels, cool as silk, sliding across my belly while your mouth devours my prick...

Yes - I'm hard right now, just thinking about you.

You've got fantastic nipples. The paleness of your skin and the dark red of them, the way you love to have them bitten and nipped, the sounds you make and the way your cock leaks when I play with them, is more arousing than I can put into words. I'm pinching my own tits as I write this, but it doesn't do half as much for me as tormenting yours does.

I love the taste of your breath after you've blown me, the bitterness of my come in your mouth. It makes me feel like I own you, like part of me is inside you. It's not quite as fulfilling as leaving my semen dripping out of your arsehole, but it's still very nice.

Of course your voice is one of your most powerful assets. That deep purr, whether in anger or in arousal, makes the hairs stand up all over my body. My prick, too, now that I've heard that voice howl along with mine as we cry out in orgasm. Your voice is intimidating; it has always given me chills. You certainly know how to use it to your advantage, caressing or flaying others at your discretion. I'm honored to be grouped among the former.

Along with your voice, I would say your gracefulness is your most obvious asset. Once you finally grew into your body, you learned to move it well. When you walk into a room, it is impossible to ignore you – you have such commanding presence. Then again, I am also aware that you are one of the most sneaky bastards to ever prowl the halls of Hogwarts; if you don't want to be seen or heard, you are nearly invisible. You glide, you swoop, you stalk, you stroll – I do not think I have ever seen you walk. Or stumble, although now that I think about it, we did collapse onto the bed most ungracefully the first few times we shagged. Perhaps you can blame that on me...

You move well, though. And the way you move with me is indescribable. Even in the rawness of wrestling you to the bed, you fight and strain with such urgent beauty that I almost want to let you win. Almost.

Really what it does is make me want to fuck you or be fucked by you until neither of us can walk properly.

I know that you are rare; I would say 'unique,' even. I have never met anyone who fascinates me as much as you do, not in the nearly thirty years that I have known you.

I will not "belie you with false compare" but I do find you incredibly attractive.

And I want to shag you rotten. Right now.

Most Urgently,

Remus


	29. Chapter 29

September 11th, 1996: Day 29

Today's owl delivery from Hogwarts speaks for itself:

_Remus,_

_I have never before had great literature mauled in my honor. I thank you._

_You are correct that our seduction styles both oppose and complement each other. I suppose I prefer to let my actions speak for me, as words can so often be false. Yet yours are forthright and believable, despite my inclinations not to believe such overabundant flattery._

_My last class today is finished at three o'clock. I shall reassign my detentions to Filch and be there no later than four. On Thursdays, I needn't be in my classroom until almost noon._

_That should be plenty of time to let you have your way with me and then have mine with you in return. Over and over again._

_-S._

 

I am so fucking randy I can hardly keep my hands off my prick. I've already tossed off once just thinking about it.

I also received the following from Hedwig:

_Dear Remus,_

_How are you? Padfoot never writes to tell me what is going on at Headquarters – is anything interesting happening? I don't need to be protected you know; I'm not a child._

_I am writing for some advice, Remus. I can't talk to Paddy – he gets very strange whenever I try to bring up anything about sex. Do you think he's homophobic? You said I could talk to you if I couldn't talk to him, so I am._

_This is so awkward, writing to you like this, but I can't talk to anyone here expect maybe Hermione and that's just not on. She was a little too interested when I told her I might be gay._

_I'm very confused. I really like you (a lot) but I know you think I am too young. I disagree, but I'm not sure how to change your mind. Also, I seem to have some kind of thing with someone else. Another boy, I mean._

_Malfoy, actually._

_He drives me absolutely spare and sometimes I hate him, but when he shoved me into the broom shed after watching the Gryffindor Quidditch practice yesterday, well. We sort of did stuff._

_We snogged a bit. And I really wanted to have sex with him but we got into a bit of a fight over who would do what and, um, ended up just using our hands, if you know what I mean. It was really good, though. Really good – I've never come so hard in my life, all over both of our robes, not even that one day when we watched him getting fucked by Blaise._

_But today he is treating me just like normal and I want to hit him or hex him but I also maybe want to shag him and I don't understand how I can feel like this. And I still want you too – sex with you would be a lot less confusing than with Malfoy._

_Won't you reconsider me? I know what I'm doing a bit better now and I promise I'll let you do anything you want._

_Even if you won't, will you please tell me what to do about Malfoy? I can't figure out how I can want to kill him and shag him at the same time. Have you ever heard of that before? Is there something wrong with me?_

_Please reply soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Harry_

By Circe, I did not need to now that many details about Harry's sex life. I replied back and reassured him that yes, he's perfectly normal and no, I'm still not interested (despite his tempting offer to "let me do anything." I can't describe the shudders of horror that fill me as I imagine that scenario.)

I also told him that I was no longer available. I wonder if Severus would be sympathetic to Harry's crush or be even more of a git to the boy. I'm tempted to find out, but perhaps I'll wait until Harry has graduated.

I think I will go berate Sirius for being too much of a coward to come out to his godson, and then go and have a shower – it's almost two o'clock!

 


	30. Chapter 30

September 12th, 1996: Day 30

This should be the final entry in this diary, although I'm not positive I'm finished with either the potion trial or the journal. I haven't been so diligent about recording potions-related observations.

The new version of Wolfsbane has been a success so far, but of course only time will tell if there are any long-term side effects or problems. Severus brewed the batch I have been taking all month four days before the testing session began, on August 10th. The continual low dose was just as effective as the regular Wolfsbane and my transformation was the same as it has always been under the influence.

My sense of smell has definitely become more acute, but I'm growing accustomed to it now. Severus thinks it will decrease after I build up some tolerance to the snaffwort seeds. My libido remains high, but I'm not complaining. I think we may consider that particular side effect a benefit rather than a detriment.

Severus arrived promptly at quarter past three yesterday and we remained locked in my room all afternoon and evening, except for brief forays to the kitchen and loo (including a very nice bath together).

Although I inquired about the sex toys, he refused to divulge what exactly his intentions were in giving them to me. I brought them out of their hiding place, conjured some ropes, and used them on him until he was nearly mad with the need to come. Reducing Severus Snape to incoherent pleading is truly one of my greatest joys.

Of course, once I released him (and he had a brief nap), he felt the need to return the favor. Apparently the thought of watching me use either or both of his gifts has aroused him ever since he left them on my pillow a few weeks ago. I happily provided a bit of a show, and barely even needed the encouragement of his dominant commands or restraints. I was hardly going to turn them down, though – Severus being masterful gives me shivers.

It is incredible to be with someone who is as much of a true switch as I am. Of course my needs are somewhat tied to the lunar pull, but still. It's lovely to be able to let go and have him call the shots, but also to know that in two weeks he won't mind a bit when I wrestle him to the floor and bite him all over until he begs for me to fuck him.

In conclusion: the potion was a success, although a qualified one until we have determined the long-term results. I will attempt to note during the next full moon whether the physical shift was indeed less painful; perhaps Sirius can do some diagnostic medical spells to assess my pain level if Severus is not yet ready to be near Moony.

Sirius and I have settled into a comfortable "just-friends" arrangement, even if I do foresee him being a bit of a prat about my choice of lover.

Severus is so much more giving than I had ever thought he would be – I have hope that we will resolve whatever difficulties may arise. He is stubborn and I am determined, and what we can't settle by talking we can make up for with shagging.

Tonight is the new moon, which means that I can stop keeping this diary every day, although the exercise of writing daily has been interesting. Enlightening, perhaps. Definitely amusing, and it may well be a practice worth continuing!

end


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